Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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