just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
