Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
