she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
