As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
