Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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