Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
this is an emotional support booty call
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
