Buhtt sex?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
where are my eyebrows?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
