ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
