Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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