White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
