I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
