The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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