the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize