with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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