Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
