the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
