Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
