My brain says no but my pants say off.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
