Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
