I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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