I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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