im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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