does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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