Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
