After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
