Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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