Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
