I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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