I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
