3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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