im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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