I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize