I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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