At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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