I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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