I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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