There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
