im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just googled if crying burns calories
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
