brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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