Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
