Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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