grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
