Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
