Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize