I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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