How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
