no you cant smoke seaweed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
