You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
