i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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