things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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