btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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