Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
