I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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