When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
