Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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