Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
