...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize