i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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