I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
