we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
