atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
