dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
