Ambien. No doubt about it.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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