Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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