piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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