its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
