I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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